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- Phalanges Do Not Belong In or Near The Palate! -
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Monday, August 21, 2006
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phalanges = fingers
palate = mouth
(i'm using anatomical terms because its more discreet and this is a quasi-sensitive subject. germs are among us therefore caution is a great preventative strategy.)
we are 4 days shy of our due date and lindsay and i just wanted to touch on a lil somethin we are feeling pretty strongly about. silly as it may sound we've deceided to just put it all on the table so i don't have to scream "I THINK THE BABY JUST POOPED!" and run upstairs with our bebe (in fact i think running up the stairs with a newborn would be more dangerous than germs!).
"...-babies are so fragile in those first few weeks. they haven't had a chance to build up an immune system yet. so, even if aunt martha (Jenny mccarthy's aunt not mine but you get the idea) comes over healthy as a nut and puts her finger in your baby's grip, who knows what's ON aunt martha's finger or where the hell aunt martha's finger has been? what orfice was she poking around in? hopfully not uncle hank's. as soon as aunt martha removes her finger from the baby's grip, you can be damn sure the baby is putting his little hand right into his mouth. so then i panic because my baby probably just ate part of uncle hank's ass."
-jenny mccarthy, baby laughs
on to the next problem:
"...people who put their own finger in your baby's mouth to gnaw on while the baby is teething. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?????? ahhh. that's when psycho mom completely busts a nut. all i remember was that my eyes crossed and my veins pulsed out of my head as i shouted, 'WOW I THINK THE BABY JUST POOPED' and snatched my baby back."
-jenny mccarthy, baby laughs
our prenatal instructor said that when you get company after having a newborn that you should make them do a chore before they can hold the new precious baby. were not that far off our rockers so instead we are simply insisting that you don't put your stinky finger in our baby's palate OR there will be a chore with your name on it :)
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1 Comments:
germs are overrated. ;)
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