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- Phalanges Do Not Belong In or Near The Palate! -
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Monday, August 21, 2006
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phalanges = fingers
palate = mouth
(i'm using anatomical terms because its more discreet and this is a quasi-sensitive subject. germs are among us therefore caution is a great preventative strategy.)
we are 4 days shy of our due date and lindsay and i just wanted to touch on a lil somethin we are feeling pretty strongly about. silly as it may sound we've deceided to just put it all on the table so i don't have to scream "I THINK THE BABY JUST POOPED!" and run upstairs with our bebe (in fact i think running up the stairs with a newborn would be more dangerous than germs!).
"...-babies are so fragile in those first few weeks. they haven't had a chance to build up an immune system yet. so, even if aunt martha (Jenny mccarthy's aunt not mine but you get the idea) comes over healthy as a nut and puts her finger in your baby's grip, who knows what's ON aunt martha's finger or where the hell aunt martha's finger has been? what orfice was she poking around in? hopfully not uncle hank's. as soon as aunt martha removes her finger from the baby's grip, you can be damn sure the baby is putting his little hand right into his mouth. so then i panic because my baby probably just ate part of uncle hank's ass."
-jenny mccarthy, baby laughs
on to the next problem:
"...people who put their own finger in your baby's mouth to gnaw on while the baby is teething. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?????? ahhh. that's when psycho mom completely busts a nut. all i remember was that my eyes crossed and my veins pulsed out of my head as i shouted, 'WOW I THINK THE BABY JUST POOPED' and snatched my baby back."
-jenny mccarthy, baby laughs
our prenatal instructor said that when you get company after having a newborn that you should make them do a chore before they can hold the new precious baby. were not that far off our rockers so instead we are simply insisting that you don't put your stinky finger in our baby's palate OR there will be a chore with your name on it :)
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- Pickle Puppets -
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Saturday, August 19, 2006
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while i was out for the afternoon today i came across the most unusual bonus with purchase: a pickle puppet. for all the bicks lovers out there, they are getting a steal with their next jar of pickles. i on the other hand, although quite intrigued by the green finger toy, won't personally be a victim of this marketing gig because i love valasic pickles far too much to stray. i'm brand loyal not just because they are crunchy AND juicey like that little 8 year old girl would have you note on the teev but because i just really like them. cute little stork and all.
speaking of storks, has it actually been proven that they are not the ones who drop off babies? if theres any doubt, i'd like to know! although i am not as worried as i was 17 weeks ago i'm still up for any potential possibilities that are out there.
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this might not have any relevance to anything i have said so far but i am positive its worth mentioning. i was putting away some laundry tonight and opened our linen closet. there were a few towels in there that didn't look like any of the others. it wasn't necessarily due to our towels being different colors but more so because of the lack of their fold lines. it really made me smile cuz those are the fold lines that my husband makes.
sounds like a simple pleasure i know, but it was an uber sweet gesture.
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- Wedding Girl & Boy -
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Wednesday, August 09, 2006
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CONGRATULATIONS GAYLA & KRIS
my sister and brand new brother-in-law got married august 5th, 2006. it was a very special day with many family members and friends there to share the good times :)
Lying here with you
Listenin' to the rain
Smilin' just to see
The smile upon your face
These are the moments
I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
Looking in your eyes
Seein' all I need
Everything you are
Is everything in me
These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
These are the moments
I know all I need is this
I've found all I've waited for, yeah
And I could not ask for more
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